Oh, I Wish I Were Dead

Some folk like music, some folk like tea,
Some folk like women, they're not for me.
Here is my motto, simple and terse:
Everything's lousy, and going to get worse!
Oh, I wish
Oh, I wish
Man had never evolved from a fish.
Oh, I wish I were dead,
Wish I'd been dropped on my head,
Broken my neck, lost the toss with a bull,
Parachute jumped and forgotten to pull,
Oh, I long to be dead,
Wrapped in a casket of lead,
Wish I'd been drowned in a barrel of stout,
Dived off the pier when the tide was still out.

The grave, the grave,
Is a fine and private place,
The grave, the grave,
And who the hell wants to embrace?
I wish, I wish I were dead,
Laid out with a lilly in bed,
Wish that I'd drunk some carbolic for fun,
Tested the trigger while cleaning my gun,
Or just shriveled up in the heat of the sun,
Oh, I wish I were dead, dead, dead,
Oh, I wish I were,
Oh, I wish I were,
Oh, I wish I were,
I wish I was dead.

From the cassette 'Donald Swann's Alphabetaphon'. Originally written for Fresh Airs, also performed in At the Drop of Another Hat, and known as 'Death Wish'.