At the Drop of a Hat
At the Drop of Another Hat
Tried by the Centre Court
And Then We Wrote...
A Song of Reproduction
May we ask, could you hear that more or less all right at the top there? All right for quantity? Nothing we can do about the quality. Not until Swann's voice breaks, anyway. People make an awful lot of fuss, anyway about the quality of the sound they listen to. Have you noticed; they spend all that time trying to get the exact effect of an orchestra actually playing in their sitting room. Personally, I can't think of anything I should hate more than an orchestra actually playing in my sitting room. They seem to like it, and it's about these people who we've written this next song. I mention this in case any of you think the title a little close to the bone; This is a Song of Reproduction.
I had a little gramophone;
I'd wind it round and round,
And with a sharpish needle
It made a cheerful sound.
And then they amplified it;
It was much louder then,
And you sharpened fibre needles
To make it soft again.
Today for reproduction
I'm as eager as can be;
Count me among the faithful fans
Of High Fidelity.
High Fidelity! Hi Fi's the thing for me
With an L.P. disc and an F.M. set
And a comer reflex cabinet,
High Frequency range
And down with Auto-change!
All the highest notes, neither sharp nor flat:
The ear can't hear as high as that,
Still I ought to please any passing bat
With my High Fidelity.
Who made this circuit up for you anyway? Bought it in a shop? What a horrible, shoddy job they fobbed you off with. I'm surprised they let you have it in here! The acoustics are all wrong. Raise the ceiling four feet, put the fireplace from that wall to that wall, and you'll still only get the stereophonic effect if you sit in the bottom of that cupboard. What a horrible shoddy job they've fobbed you off with ... ! You've got your negative feedback coupled in with your push-pull input-output; take that across your red-head pickup to your tweeter, and if you're modding more than eight you're going to get wow on your top-try to bring that down through your rumble filter to your woofer. And what'll you get? Flutter on your bottom!
High Fidelity! F.F.R.R. for me!
I've an opera here that you shan't escape
On miles and miles of recording tape;
High decibel gain
Is easy to obtain;
With the tone control at a single touch
Bel Canto sounds like Double Dutch.
Then I never did care for music much
It's the High Fidelity!
MF: This is a good moment to explain that we don't normally have these things standing around here, but tonight they are recording this, stereophonically in fact, for posterity. So, wherever you're sitting now, it'll be where you'll be on the record.
Sit up nice and straight, if any of you feel like rolling in the aisles or being carried out helpless with mirth, this is a jolly good night to do it. Do you want to say hello to posterity?
MF: Hello, Posterity. If we move around a bit, they'll use it for demonstration purposes.
Originally from the album 'At The Drop of a Hat'.