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The Bestiary of Flanders and Swann
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The Armadillo
Here's an old story: said the mouse to the elephant, "ooh, aren't you big!" Said the elephant, "aren't you small!" Said the mouse to the elephant, "Yes, I know; I've not been well at all." And you may remember out meeting with the g-nu: "I'm a g-nu, the g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo." Well I recently met another strange animal, the Armadillo.
I was taking compass bearings for the Ordinance Survey
On an army training camp on Salisbury plain,
I had packed up my theodolite, was calling it a day,
When I heard a voice that sang a sad refrain:
'Oh, my darling Armadillo,
Let me tell you of my love,
Listen to my Armadillo roundelay;
Be my fellow on my pillow,
Underneath this weeping willow,
Be my darling Armadillo all the day.'
I was somewhat disconcerted by this curious affair,
For a single Armadillo, you will own,
On Salisbury plain, on summer, is comparatively rare,
And a pair of them is practically unknown.
Drawn by that mellow solo,
There I followed on my bike,
To discover what these Armadillo
Lovers would be like:
'Oh, my darling Armadillo,
How delightful it would be,
If for us those silver wedding bells would chime,
Let the orange blossoms billow,
You need only say 'I will'-oh,
Be my darling Armadillo all the time.'
Then I saw them in a hollow, by a yellow muddy bank -
An Armadillo singing ... to an armour-plated tank.
Should I tell him, gaunt and rusting, with the willow tree above,
This - abandoned on manoeuvres - is the object of your love?
I left him to his singing,
Cycled home without a pause,
Never tell a man the truth
About the one that he adores.
On the breeze that follows sunset,
I could hear that sad refrain,
Singing willow, willow, willow down the way;
And I seemed to hear it still, Oh,
Vive L'amore, vive l'Armadillo,
'Be my darling Armadillo all the day.
Be my darling Armadillo all the day.'
Originally from the album 'The Bestiary of Flanders and Swann'.
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