Welcome to the LYRICS LIBRARY, a home for all the words to those half-forgotten or fondly remembered Cosgrove Hall theme songs. Now you can impress friends, family and strangers on buses alike with your soulful and word-perfect rendition of the Chorlton or Dangermouse themes. (C.H.A.M.B. takes no responsibility for funny looks or actual bodily harm received as a consequence of singing the words on this page...)

Please note, this page currently consists only of the theme songs that I personally can remember. Any contributions will be very gratefully received and added post haste. I'm also looking for lyrics from specials, such as The BFG, and foreign versions of the shows (see Assorted Lyrics section!).

Assorted Lyrics

Alias the Jester | Avenger Penguins | Chorlton and the Wheelies
Count Duckula | Creepy Crawlies | Dangermouse | Jamie and the Magic Torch
Noddy | Victor & Hugo | The Wind in the Willows

Alias the Jester was a time-traveller bold,
By pure bad luck, his ship got stuck in the Earth's magnetic hold.
From the middle of space, to the Middle Ages.
Alias the Jester
Alias the Jester
A jester in disguise, watch him change before your very eyes.
AaaaaaaaAlias the Jester meets his fate again,
Alias and Boswell activate again.
He overwhelms the underhanded, using all the power at his command.
Alias the Jester! (the jester, the jester).
Alias the Jester! (the jester, the jester).
Alias the Jester! (the jester, the jester).

Avenger Penguins

Avenger, Avenger, Avenger Penguins.
On their motorbikes, Marlon leads the fight,
Mmmm, in Big City.
When tomorrow comes, and the goin' gets tough,
There's a big Big City won't be big enough.
Marlon and the boys will be cuttin' up some room,
Then it's the end of the line for Caractacus Doom.
(Doom: "I will rule the world! Me, me, the man that they said was mad!!")
Avenger, Avenger, Avenger Penguins (hyah!)

Chorlton and the Wheelies

Jump in we'll take you for a spin
and show you round the Wheelie World.
Hop on, it's fun to come along and take a look at Wheelie World.
You'll be surprised how good it feels
To zoom around all day and wheel so merrily with me,
You don't need a ticket, for we'll take you round for free
And if you see the witch Fenella don't be worried,
'Cos there's no cause for alarm (ha ha ha ha!)
'Cos we've got Chorlton who's the dragon who will keep you free from harm (ho ho ho ho!)
It's fun at any time of year,
So put your wheels in second gear
And hold tight
Alright?
We'll show you all the sights of Wheelie World!

Count Duckula

In the heart of Transylvan-ia,
In the Vampire Hall of Fame-yeah,
There's not a vampire zanier than DUCKULA.
He won't bite beast or man,
'Cos he's a vegetari-an,
And things never run to plan for DUCKULA.
If you're looking for some fun,
You can always count upon,
The wild and wacky one they call DUCKULA
(Count Duckula - he he he heeh!)

Creepy Crawlies

Creepin' and crawlin' gives you time to think,
Rushing is enthralling, but you're sure to miss a lot if you should blink.
Creepy crawlies (creepy crawlies)
Creepy crawlies (they're not like big and tallies) - Creepy crawlies!
Creepy crawlies (creepy crawlies)
Creepy crawlies (how much fun it all is!)
Creepy crawlies - you don't know what a fall is
When you've always got one ear to the ground!

Dangermouse

He's the greatest! He's fantastic!
Wherever there is danger, he'll be there!
He's the ace! He's amazing!
He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best!
Dangermouse!
He's terrific! He's magnifique!
He's the greatest secret agent in the world!
Dangermouse - powerhouse!
He's the fastest, he's the bravest, he's the best!
Dangermouse! (Amazing!)
Dangermouse! (Astounding!!)
Dangermouuuuse!

Jamie and the Magic Torch

Jamie! Jamie!
Jamie and the Magic Torch.
Down the helter skelter, faster and faster
To the Cuckoo Land.
Wordsworth! Wordsworth!
Following hard behind.
Ready for adventure, always there to lend a paw (or hand!)
Mr Boo and all the others too,
The strangest people you've ever seen.
And the torch with its magical beam,
If I hadn't really been there
I'd think that I was dreaming!
Jamie! Jamie!
No two nights are the same.
And life is one long glorious game
With Jamie,
Jamie and the Magic Torch!
Switch on!

Noddy

Noddy (Noddy)
The little man with the red and yellow car
Noddy (Noddy)
His tinkling bell means he's the happiest little fellow in all Toyland
There's Big Ears and Teddy and Mr Plod
And all his special friends
He sets out on adventures then he'll take you home again.
Noddy (Noddy)
Noddy
Noddy

Victor & Hugo

They are the bunglers in crime (the baddies),
Victor and Hugo!
Will they succeed this time? (the baddies)
Victor and Hugo!
Victor: We always arrange a meticulous plan.
(To make sure nothing goes wrong).
Victor and Hugo!
Victor and Hugo, bunglers in crime.

The Wind in the Willows (OP)

The wind in the willows
Sang softly to me
Follow my voice
Wherever it leads
Through mountains and valleys
And deep rolling seas
Born on the wings of the breeze.

The Wind in the Willows (ED)

Spin me a dream, woven silver and gold
Of sunshine and shadows and days long ago.
Where people are memories
And stories unfold,
Willows, the tales you have told me.
Wind in the Willows you just seem to know,
Who you can turn to and which way to go,
To unwind your wondrous mind,
Wind in the Willows, take me home.